Motherhood, and the gentle art of slowing down

I think my journey into slowing down began when I became a mother. 14 years ago, after the birth of my daughter, I can remember settling into this gentler pace of living, without the daily commute and 13 hour shifts. Yes, there were a lot of small tasks during the day, feeds and nappy changes and the like, but there was also this stillness, this slowing down to just do the things that mattered, and let everything else fall away.

I saw lots of other new mums around me scheduling many classes for them and their babies, going from one activity to another. While this may suit some people’s temperaments, and I did do a couple of groups, went swimming with a friend and her baby, but mostly I loved to walk. Those long walks with a new baby are the best, the silent yet powerful eye contact, exploring new parts of your neighbourhood, hidden parks. Nowhere to go except to just walk, no other agenda than this. Alone, and yet not quite alone. You and your new baby, just enjoying the walk.

And now we are home educating, and both children are at home a lot, we are in the privileged position of having all this time to spend together. I notice my son (almost 6) doing new things every week, just the little things like being able to say a more complicated sentence tell a new story. I notice my 14yr old daughter maturing into a beautiful young woman, becoming more politically and socially aware each day. And while it’s not always as idyllic as perhaps I’ve painted here, what we are lucky to have is the gift of slow. Our schedules have enough activities, but not too many. Enough time with friends but also time for nature walks in the woods, reading books, talking about ideas, time for the good things in life. We can go at our own pace. If we feel like having a week off, then we can. If one of us feels a bit under the weather, we can have a duvet day. We try to have as many meals around the table together as we can, chatting about our plans or what we’ve been reading about.

And yes, there is bickering, arguing, and days when it’s not going to plan. But on those days, I try to step back and see the bigger picture, to see the gift of this slower paced lifestyle that we are so lucky to have.

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